Diary of a Kidney Donor: Out of Office
In the first part of a series, we hear from Cynthia McReynolds, a Sebastopol woman who agreed to donate her kidney to Wee Simla, a Sebastopol man who has been on kidney dialysis for five years.
Remarkably, Cynthia McReynolds, a 74-year-old Sebastopol psychotherapist, donated her kidney on Tuesday to a 52-year old Sebastopol man, Wee Simla. Cynthia had responded to an email from Michael Fels that described the condition of his life partner, Wee. “The home peritoneal dialysis commenced in December of 2019. The initiation of dialysis also launched the start of his wait on the national waiting list (from a deceased donor). The median wait-time at UC Davis is about 6 years, but, as you know, it all depends on finding a matching (blood type and antigens) donor.”
In this series, we hear from Cynthia about deciding to become a kidney donor for Wee. In Part 1, Cynthia writes to friends and colleagues to inform that she would be “out for a bit” while she is going through this process.
In Part 2, Michael Fels writes a message in March to about sixty people asking them if they’d consider becoming a kidney donor.
In Part 3, Cynthia goes to UC for a battery of blood tests and scans to determine if she qualifies as a donor.
In Part 4, coming next week, Cynthia and Wee have returned home from the kidney transplant surgery at UC Davis Medical Center.
Good news. Tuesday’s kidney transplant at UC Davis Medical Center went “extremely well”, according to Michael Fels. Both Cynthia and Wee are expected to go home this week.
Below is a letter Cynthia sent out to the people she serves in her psychotherapy practice. It provides an overview of what she is doing and why she is donating her kidney— in her own words.
October 22, 2024
I am going to be out of the office — November 11-20 — and more out of communication during that time than usual. I want to tell you what’s going on. On November 12, I am going to donate one of my kidneys to my friend, Wee Simla. The surgery will be at the UC Davis Medical Center (located in Sacramento), where there is an excellent Living Donor Center. I’ll take two weeks out of work for surgery and recovery.
Wee is from Thailand, 52 years old, and suffers from the kidney disease that runs in his family. His eldest sister already received a kidney from the youngest of the five siblings. Since Wee’s diagnosis 10 years ago, five other people from his extended family have tried to donate to him, but none met the health requirements. Five years ago, his disease advanced to the point that he went onto the national kidney waitlist, and began dialysis. You can do dialysis in a clinic several times a week, or do it at home. Wee has been doing time-consuming and sometimes uncomfortable home dialysis for 5 years. That has meant either 2 hours of dialysis, 5 times/day OR 8 hours overnight. Every single day. In contrast to how we go to the bathroom and don’t give it a second thought, Wee has to deliberately assist his body to do what our kidneys handle for us. His living room in Sebastopol is crowded with multiple stacks of boxes of dialysate (the fluid for dialysis).
We are both delighted that I have the health and strong kidneys to qualify as a donor. As a bonus, it turns out that the two of us are also perfect matches in terms of compatibility. If we hadn’t been compatible on the antibody level, then we would go a different route. I would donate in his name, my left kidney would go to someone from the national waitlist for whom I was a good match, and Wee would move to the top of the list. But in this case, we can make a direct donation — from my body to his, in the operating room right next door!
This will give Wee significant, felt relief within hours of the surgery and swing open the door for an extended and more liberated life expectancy. Fortunately, Wee is in otherwise great health and has longevity in his family, given that his mother (who still lives in Thailand) is 93. A healthy kidney will make it much easier for him to visit her and his family there.
Once I understood Wee’s situation and volunteered last spring, I began extensive assessments at UC Davis. The first question from the social worker was “Why do you want to do this?” At first I thought my answer was too simplistic, like what a second-grader would say. I answered, “Because it’s a good thing to do.” Because, really, that is my plain and simple truth. Isn’t doing good for each other built-in to all of us, at the core? Donors do fine afterward, and I’ve already lived 22 years longer than Wee, all of it with the privilege of good health. Looking through the lens of “we’re all humans in this together,” my decision felt obvious and normal. The main thing I can tell you is that this process has already been rewarding to me. I know it will bring freedom for Wee in his life. To my surprise, this act of following my heart’s impulse has made me feel more free, too, more distinctly myself. Maybe the unencumbered heart of a second grader is a sweet spot!
Here are the two of us, enjoying the sunshine, three weeks out from surgery! Double happiness!
In Part 2 of Diary of Kidney Donor: How Do You Ask?, Michael Fels writes a difficult letter asking how to find someone to donate a kidney to his life partner, Wee.
Cynthia, if you happen to read this, I want to say I am not surprised by this story! You are one in a million! Bless you.