Faces of the West County: Cynthi Stefenoni and Natalie Boothe

The “It just isn’t the same anymore” Edition

Cynthi Stefenoni and Natalie Boothe (Photo by Steve Einstein)

By Steve Einstein

My wife and I are on a road trip to New Orleans, and we’re taking it all in. We just went through the Mojave Desert and crossed into Arizona. Who would have thunk that California is 38% desert?

Anyhow, we stopped in Needles for breakfast, and then found a decent coffee joint. It’s half oil-change garage, half decent-coffee joint. The friendly proprietor, happy not to be changing an oil filter for a minute, says, “We can’t have a TV on in here playing the news anymore. You can’t win. If it’s CNN someone will complain, or if it’s FOX someone will complain. Either way, there’s gonna be a fight. It just isn’t the same anymore.”

But the tension is all over. Last week we had dinner with friends and the in-laws. I got into it with my good friend Jeff. He said the current Trump/Musk administration had already infringed on our civil rights. I said, well maybe they’re trying to, but I couldn’t point to one civil right that had been withdrawn or canceled yet. It wasn’t a pleasant conversation, and we’re on the same team!

Change is afoot. It just isn’t the same anymore.

Some families have been impacted more than others by the rift in our country. The rift goes right through those families. One such family is that of one of our neighbors, Natalie. She and Cynthi live right next to us and were willing to talk and let me know what they’re thinking these days.

Where and when were you guys born?

Natalie - Linwood, California, near LA. I’m 70!

Cynthi - I was supposed to be born in Palm Drive Hospital here in town, but all the beds were full so I ended up being born in Santa Rosa General. It was 1949. I’m 75.

Families?

Natalie - Yes. A son who is 48 and a daughter who is 46. They both became Marines. I’ve got a 24-year-old grandson too. He’s already a commercial pilot.

Cynthi - I have an adopted daughter from an earlier relationship and now three grandkids.

Cynthi, where here in town did you live?

For my first few years, we were on my grandparents farm on Lone Pine, then into town on Florence, and then, in ’54, into this very house on Robinson Road.

Holy cow!

Cynthi - It was three acres of apples, and now it’s five duplexes, one triplex, and six single-family homes. So that’s 19 separate homes.

What did you guys do for work?

Natalie - I finished up as a nurse. Fifteen years at Healdsburg General. Before that a massage therapist. And way before that, I was an aerobatic pilot.

Back in the day, the ’70s and ’80s, my ex-husband and I rebuilt two World War Two trainer planes and flew them in air shows. They were like J-3 Cubs, made of a canvas-like fabric. We were high school friends, and when he got his pilot’s license at age 16, I’d go up in the air with him. Soon after, I decided that was for me too.

Fast forward, I was nine months pregnant with our second child, when I did my cross-country solo flight to get my pilot’s license.

Cynthi - I was a live event producer, but always an activist.

Our country is going through quite a time right now Are you worried?

Cynthi - Worried and hopeful at the same time. I work with young folks all the time (in film), and many of them are smart, motivated, and treasure our democracy. They’re ready to go into the streets when needed.

Natalie - I’m more worried. I’ve never had feelings like this before. I’m furious too.

And it’s affected relationships in your family, no?

Natalie - It has. Both my middle brother and my son, drank the Kool Aid, and now it’s been five years since we’ve spoken. It’s more than just politics, but either way, it hurts.

Does it feel like they’re in a cult to you?

Natalie - Oh yes. Definitely. There’s been a cellular change in their minds. (Natalie gets up to get me a book that’s related to this. It’s called The Cult of Trump, written by an ex-Moonie.)

Do you have hope of reconciliation?

Natalie - I do. Maybe after these four years, I’d love to reconnect. This country and my family are both worth saving.

There’s hope and there’s false hope. I’m somewhere in between those two.

Cynthi - It feels like a cult to me. Reason has left. But I don’t feel doomed. This is a wide swing to the right, and it will swing back in time. We need to be vigilant.

Is the Democratic Party the answer?

Natalie - I think so. It’s a more fact-driven party, and in the end, the facts will win out. Our country won’t stand for this authoritarianism. MAGA says they’re pro-freedom of speech, and yet they’re dismantling the government and the institutions that have made up our democracy. People are getting emails and suddenly they’re dismissed, and the work they were doing just goes away. It feels like they’re following in the footsteps of Germany in the ’30s. It took Hitler just one month to change everything.

Cynthi - I think we’re closer to 1930s Germany than we think we are. I’m watching a political system be disemboweled, and we’re turning our heads away. It’s a very scary time.

Let’s talk about you guys. You told me you two are together now 18 years. How did you meet?

Natalie - I was living in the house across the street. Cynthi’s father, Al, who was living in our current house, knew I was a nurse and asked me to look at a cut on his arm.

Well, we got to talking, and he realized that I should meet his daughter. The rest is history.

So when did you come out?

Natalie - I think in ’84.

What motivated that?

Natalie - Probably my marriage not going right. Gary, my husband, was my best friend, but we grew apart, and I found myself open to relationships with women.

Let’s talk about yours flags. Which was the first? (There are five separate flags hanging from Cynthi and Natalie’s front porch.)

Cynthi - Well, the American was first, followed by the Ukrainian.

First tell me about that folded-up American flag I see here in your living room. Whose is that?

Cynthi- My father, Al, was a World War Two vet.

He was on the HMT (Hired Military Transport) Rohna, which was attacked by the Germans in ’43. It sustained more loss of life at sea during wartime than any other incident. More than 1,000 lives were lost.

Our devotion to the flag and to country, is borne out of my father’s service, and the sacrifice of that generation.

Check the story out at, rohnasurvivors.org

Natalie - My father, who was Army, was in the Korean War. Both my kids became Marines. I was a Republican for a long time, but now I’m a Democrat. When I looked at the issues and not just the name of the party, the Dems just spoke to me in a more authentic way. I’m a conservative liberal and very patriotic.

And the Ukrainian flag?

Natalie - Zelensky is a patriotic leader defending his people against a Russian invasion and defending democracy itself. It should be obvious why we too should fly the Ukrainian flag and stand by their side.

Cynthi - The Israeli flag came next, with the Palestinian flag right on its heels. It’s clear that the people of Gaza and Israel are just people trying to survive, against all odds, and they both deserve our support equally.

Has anyone ever given you a hard time about the flags?

Natalie - Just the opposite. Though I was scared to put them up at first, we’ve only gotten support. Someone even stopped her car once, took a picture of the flags, and then made her Christmas card from the picture. Our society seems to be based on fear right now, and I don’t want to go there.

Do you feel like there has been an infringement on our civil rights in the past two months? Since the return of Trump.

Natalie - Not yet, but I’m feeling the threat now. Choices to sexual orientation, race, nationality, and healthcare are all threatened. The changes feel like they’re coming.

Cynthi - Civil rights are clearly being dismantled. As long as the court system holds, we’ll be able to block the changes.

Let’s talk about the Documentary Film Festival for a bit. Cynthi, you’ve been central to the festival for a while now.

Cynthi - It’s the 17th edition this year. I’ve been with it since ’09 and producing it since 2013.

What’s your attraction?

Cynthi - These days, I trust documentaries to tell us the truth or at least shine light on the truth. The tagline for the SDFF (Sebastopol Documentary Film Festival) is “Engage in what’s real.”

This year, 44 of the 57 film screenings will have the filmmaking teams in attendance. They’re from all over: Italy, Japan, and of course local filmmakers from Sebastopol and the Bay Area.

How do you choose the films?

Cynthi - We had almost 700 submissions this year. It’s an open call. They’re judged by three reviewers. Then, if they get through, by three more in a second round. Then the programming team further winnows it down from 115 films to 57. It’s a lot of work.

We’re an Oscar-qualifying festival. That means that any short film that wins a jury award here can be nominated for an Oscar. Out of 11,000 film festivals, less than 1,000 are qualified like we are.

How many viewers are you expecting this year?

Cynthi - We’ll have three to five thousand attendees, but then there’s a streaming festival for 10 days following the regular festival. That streaming festival will feature a curated schedule from the regular lineup. It’s a way to see the best of the best.

(Scheduling and ticketing options are all here at their website. Opening night is Thursday the 27th, and then films will be presented the 28th-30th. sebdocs.org)

Let’s find out more about you two. How about your favorite restaurant around here?

Cynthi and Natalie answer in unison - It was the Gravenstein Grill.

Cynthi- Now it’s a toss up between Hole in the Wall and Campanella. HopMonk may be in 3rd place. All three support the Doc Fest.

A favorite vacation?

Cynthi - We just had it! Italy, last November/December to visit family and friends. We were from the Swiss Italian region—Lake Como, as are many Sonoma County Italians.

Were you tempted to stay?

Cynthi - Yes. Some of my American cousins have gotten their dual citizenship and already spend part of their lives there. We’re considering that too.

Hobbies, interests?

Natalie - I’m into community service. I’ve volunteered at the Sebastopol Center for the Arts for the past 12 years.

I play guitar, harmonica, spoons. And I’m an artist myself. All sorts of mediums.

Cynthi - Theater. I had my own summer stock theater group right here in Sebastopol in the ’70s. It was called Sun Company Limited. We used the Analy HS auditorium and would sell out for six nights every summer. I’m also a classically trained vocalist, a dramatic soprano, who prefers to sing jazz.

Something that would surprise us about you?

Natalie - That I went from being a CNA to a massage therapist and finally to a nurse, but that I only went to nursing school at age 53 after my mother died. She wanted me to be either a nun or a nurse.

Cynthi - I went to Parkside, twice! I first went from K-2, but then in ’62 and ’63 it was used as Sebastopol’s middle school, so I was there again for 7th and 8th grades.

I went to UC Santa Cruz and might have graduated, but it was the ‘60s. Oh well. I ended up at Brigham Young, of all places, to round out my education. I went for their outstanding music program.

You know, I still have lunch every month with friends I graduated with from Analy in ’67. There’s plenty of us still around.

And here’s one more thing. My dad built this house from plans he got out of The Reader’s Digest!

Last one. Your favorite charities?

Cynthi - Southern Poverty Law Center (www.splcenter.org)

Natalie - Sebastopol Center for the Arts (www.sebarts.org)

Many thanks, Cynthi and Natalie. And thanks for your flag display. Wonderful getting to know the two of you a little better. Seeya at the movies!

Five flags and counting…plus Snoopy and a cheeky Christmas wish (Photo by Steve Einstein)