The Road to 'Authenticity'
Therapist, business owner and author Adam Bulbulia talks about his latest book, “Authenticity: The Immense Power To Be Yourself”
Local author and longtime Sebastopol resident Adam Bulbulia recently published his third book, “Authenticity: The Immense Power To Be Yourself,” which he describes as “a journey of self-discovery and a radical commitment to truth.”
In addition to being the founder and owner of local business, Bridging Worlds Behavioral Services, and the founder and president of local nonprofit Heart Centered Revolutions, Bulbulia is a Board Certified Behavioral Analyst and Process Coach with many years of experience working with individuals, families and business owners. He is also experienced in the field of autism and has coached hundreds of developmentally disabled youth and adults during his 20-year career.
The Sebastopol Times conducted the following interview with him via email to find out more about the challenges and joys he faced writing his new book, his writing process, what drew him to Sebastopol and more.
Describe the path that led you to Sebastopol. What keeps you here?
Growing up in suburban New Jersey, I always dreamed of coming to California. The Golden Gate Bridge enticed me. I was the only one in my New York Giants-loving family who rooted for the San Francisco 49ers. As a kid everything in California seemed wild, exotic, and better. I remember hearing Led Zeppelin's song “Going to California,” and I could feel a longing. All things California pulled me.
As soon as I completed my graduate schooling, I took the plunge to move to California and became a Waldorf teacher in Ukiah. It was a good starting place, but Ukiah lacked the kind of culture and community I longed for. I heard whispers of a mecca of spirituality, culture, and innovation to the south. I heard the name Sebastopol over and over, and I was drawn here. In 2004 I moved to our beloved town.
In 2012, I started Bridging Worlds Behavioral Services, a company that works with autistic and developmentally delayed youth and adults which is located downtown, just above Sushi Hanna. This work has woven me into the fabric of Sebastopol and most of Sonoma County. I also became president of Sebastopol Downtown Association – working with Myriah at the Sebastopol Chamber of Commerce. Sebastopol seems to be the ideal spot to bring to fruition many of my dreams to permeate the world with connection, community, and unconditional love.
Sebastpol feels like home to me. I love the redwoods, the Laguna, Ragle Park, Peacetown, and Soft Medicine Sanctuary. The sense of community and place that exists in our little hamlet is inspiring. And it seems to only be getting stronger with the collaborations between the Sebastopol Chamber and the SDA (Sebastopol Downtown Business Association) as well as all the community-building happening at Soft Medicine.
What previous books have you written and what are they about?
The first book I wrote is “Nurture Being,” a little book about self-care, packed with gems and exercises to bring you closer to your natural state of being. This one came through me very quickly and had a short birthing process. My second book, “Unconditional Eternal Love: A Guide to Love Everyone,” is the first time I really brought forward what I have to share about unconditional love. Unconditional love is one of the core tenets of my life mission and completing this book was a fairly large accomplishment.
Is “Authenticity” a logical extension of your previous books? If so, why? If not, why?
In a way, my third book is a logical extension in that I simply write the book that my heart wants to write and “Authenticity: The Immense Power To Be Yourself” is the one that came next. In another way, this book deviates from the previous books in that I share many stories about my personal journey. The other two books are more of me writing about universal principles without me inserting my own personality and character very much.
“Authenticity” is the most captivating and page-turning book I’ve written so far. The principles, practices, and the stories most of all, have something to offer anyone who wants to deepen their experience with living in a more authentic and connected way.
How long did it take you to write this book? Please tell us a bit about the process.
I wrote this book in a year and three months. I had released an earlier version of this book almost a year ago, which contained the seeds of this new book. As a part of my healing and recovery from narcissistic abuse, I started off in a more reactive place in the earlier version. In many ways this new book both documented and propelled my healing journey, as well as me finding my voice as a writer in this world.
For me the process of writing is simply letting myself type whatever is in my heart to say. It’s an easy and flowing process. It’s a process much like sculpting. First I have to generate all the material I need to sculpt. My favorite part of writing is the initial part where I generate all the content in a free and flowing way. I let whatever is in my heart to say come out. The next part I find more challenging. I go back over what I have written and begin to shape it into a form and refine it to make sure it is understandable and communicates to others as clearly as possible. After that I get editors involved to help give me a more objective view into what will really work well.
For me, writing is in itself a natural and organic process. All I do is open the computer and let myself write. Writing is like sleeping or talking—there’s nothing special about it. It’s an ordinary state that I enter into almost every day. Yet I can write myself into extraordinary states of connection. In writing I find myself and discover who I am. Writing is a process of finding the narrative that knits together all our disjointed parts. To me, writing is an act of healing and discovery. And I love adventures!
What is the theme or message of “Authenticity” and why is it important?
The theme and message of “Authenticity” is this: there is a way you were born to be that’s been inside you all along. If you tune in and connect, you can find this natural way to be. Oftentimes what we learned in our families and school takes us away from our authentic sense of self. In a world full of disconnection, authenticity is the return to the state of connection with our self. When we are connected, we function optimally as human beings.
The central disconnection in our species is that we’re disconnected from our feelings. The human being is meant to both feel and think. Our society has conditioned us to think that all that matters is what exists in our mind. This mind-centered way of living has created our oppressive economy, exploitative society, and disconnected and alienated nuclear families. I believe that disconnection and alienation are two of the biggest threats we face as a species. Authenticity, empathy, and unconditional love are what we most need in these times. If we all were authentic, life on earth would be much better for everyone.
What audience does this book speak to?
This book speaks to anyone who values a heart-centered way of living life. It’s specifically geared to people who are willing to face hard truths and look at their own attachments to egoic states. It’s for anyone who wants to learn how to live in a more connected and loving way. It’s for those who understand knowledge needs to be embodied in order for it to change our lives. Given the constituency of our town, the average Sebastopolian seeker will resonate with the message of this book.
What was the most rewarding aspect of writing this book?
The most rewarding aspect of writing this book was deepening my own relationship with authenticity. Writing this book showed me that I both knew and was able to embody authenticity better than I realized. I hope to continue to learn and deepen my relationship with authenticity. This book also seems to be launching me into a bigger arena of connection. I have had many interviews and podcast invitations and eagerly await more opportunities to speak about the message of this book.
What was the most difficult aspect of writing this book?
It was difficult to come face-to-face with some of the more challenging experiences I’ve moved through and communicate these stories so that they were both expressing the truth and made sense to others. Sometimes the way the stories initially came out I was often afraid people would misunderstand me and misjudge my intentions, especially in my extreme state of saying the truth to anyone at any time.
Additionally, this book is so radical in certain ways that I didn’t always know how it would come across. The biggest challenge was finding my voice in telling my story. I found my initial style of writing was somewhat abrasive and off-putting. Terra Friedman King is a wonderful local editor who helped me find my voice and tell my story in a way that was more relatable. She, along with Ann Marie Foley and Bill Moulton, helped me to hone the message and the general feel of the book. Their support made it possible for me to overcome my challenges and continue to move forward with the book.
We live in interesting times. Are you optimistic about our collective future?
As Charles Dickens famously began “A Tale of Two Cities”: “It was the best of times. It was the worst of times.” Dickens was talking about London and Paris. Yet for us the best and worst of times live side by side in our small town and in the world as a whole. When I see the generosity and care that some individuals have in our community, my heart is filled with hope for our collective future. When I see the power struggles, egoic games, and cruelty in our community, I can be gripped by pessimism about the direction of our species.
I founded a nonprofit called Heart-Centered Revolutions. Our mission is to bring empathy and love to all the dark places in humanity. We strive to create a world that works for everyone. So ultimately I am optimistic about humanity. This is no longer a naive optimism. It is tempered by my direct experience of trauma at the hands of some people possessed by the most cruel and heartless forces in humanity. The resilience of the heart to love in the face of trauma, and hope in the face of abysmal darkness, has always inspired me. I believe humanity and the heart are like a star—we are all meant to shine.
Do you have plans for more books in the future? If so, what will they be about?
Yes, there are three books I’m in the process of writing. The next one to come out I believe is a book about parenting, “Parenting: A Guide to Create a Family Culture That Works for Everyone.” This book has been heavily informed by my work coaching families as a behavior analyst over the last 20 years. The other two books, which go hand-in-hand, are a book on empathy called, “I Feel You: The Practical Guide to Empathy,” and a book whose working title is “Unveiling Narcissism: A Hope for Healing the Heart of Humanity.” I’ve started on over 30 books and intend to be writing for as long as I’m walking and talking. In many ways, I feel like I’m at the beginning of a long journey with writing. I owe so much of this journey to my dear and sweet mother, Janet Bulbulia, who taught me how to write.
“Authenticity: The Immense Power To Be Yourself,” by Adam Bulbulia, published by Heart Centered Revolutions, Inc. ©2023. Paperback, English, 231 pages, $14.95. ISBN: 979-8986041667. Available at heartcenteredrevolutions.org, Amazon and fine bookstores everywhere.
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